Herbert Simple
Herbert Timothy "Tim" Simple (known as Tim Diamond) is the older brother of Nicholas Simple and the protagonist of The Diamond Brothers series. Early Life Tim was born as "Herbert Simple" to Mr and Mrs Simple, and was educated in St Egbert's Comprehensive School. He went to school with Rory McDougal, Janet Rhodes, Libby Goldman, Brenda Blake, Eric Draper, Mark Tyler, Johnny Nadler and Sylvie Binns, with whom he wand won first prize in a knitting competition, beating Johnny Nadler.I Know What You Did Last Wednesday After he left school, Herbert joined the police force at Scotland Yard, where he served under then-inspector Freddy Snape. Herbert's time there was short lived however, as after many a mishap, including shooting the instructor during weapons training, piecing an identikit picture that lead to the arrest of the Archbishop of Canterbury and piecing another identikit that had the whole police force looking for a man with three eyes and an upside down mouth, he was fired, much to Snape's delight.The Falcon's Malteser page 54South By South-East page 22 After his time at Scotland Yard, Herbert bought a small flat in Camden Town where he became a private investigator, under the alias "Tim Diamond". It was around this time that Herbert's parents had decided to emigrate to Australia, forcing Nick to go with them. Nick fled Heathrow Airport at the last minute and went to Herbert, who was reluctant to let him stay, but ultimately did. The Falcon's Malteser Roughly two years after Nick moved in, Herbert hadn't had a case in months and had only a handful of money. Around December, he was almost completely broke, until he was hired by a dwarf named Johnny Naples to guard a package in exchange for 100 pounds. Herbert and Nick spend most of the money on food, a movie and an ad for a cleaner, but returned home to find that their whole flat had been searched and torn apart. Nick had brought the package with him for safekeeping, however. The next morning, Herbert received a short letter from master criminal "The Fat Man", arranging to meet him in Trafalgar Square. Herbert, who had heard of the Fat Man in Scotland Yard, was quite frightened of this. After meeting him and telling him they didn't have the package, the Fat Man gave Herbert and Nick forty-eight hours to retrieve it. Returning home, they found a cleaner named Betty Charlady waiting for them, ready to work. They told her to return on Monday and quickly proceeded to open the dwarf's package. They were both shocked to discover that inside was a box of Malteesers chocolates. Nick suggested that they find the shop the dwarf bought the envelope in by looking at the price tag. They did so the next morning and discovered that Naples was staying at the Hotel Splendide. They went to the hotel only to find that Naples had been shot moments before they had entered his room. Naples, in his dying words, muttered "the sun" and "the falcon", before succumbing to his wounds. The police, who had been watching the hotel, burst in and found Herbert holding the smoking gun, causing him to faint. He and Nick were brought to Ladbroke Grove police station, where Herbert was reintroduced with now-Chief Inspector Snape and his violence-loving assistant Boyle. Snape, less than happy to see Herbert, told he and Nick about the late Henry Von Falkenberg and his stash of uncut diamonds worth over three and a half million pounds, which were hidden somewhere in London. Personality Herbert was incredibly idiotic, the least intelligent person in Britain. He has several childish characteristics, such as sleeping with a Paddington Bear hot water bottle, reading the Beano and even cutting the crusts off his sandwiches. He unknowingly humiliates and embarrasses his brother, Nick Diamond, with his stupidity and the fact that he would do anything to get rid of him, despite the fact that he seems to rely heavily on Nick. He was also arrogant, extremely vain, selfish, self-obsessed, self-righteous, cowardly, callous and extravagant. He seemed to only care about his image and, whenever he had an employer, tended to try and take the stereotype image of a detective but only embarrassing himself. He changed his name to Tim Diamond because of his own vanity and was arrogant enough to lie to people to make himself look important, as he fancied himself as a man of mystery and action. At one point, he used the phrase This is a job for Tim Diamond because it made himself sound important. He also contained no degree of bravery. Whenever he was held at gunpoint or in a life-or-death situation, he caved into cowardice and showed his true colours. This is shown frequently throughout the series and is seen to be his most distinguishing trait. Herbert was also constantly 'wrapped up in his own performance', for example in South by South East where he becomes so full of himself that, when an assassin's bullet narrowly misses his client, he barely notices. Although full of himself, Tim genuinely cares about Nick and his safety, one example shown in South by South East when he realized Charon was coming to get Nick, so he ended up being the one to stop her by pushing her in the water, saving Nick's life. In ''Just ask for Diamond, ''Tim is a lot smarter than his book counterpart and showed many differences from the book, such as thanking Nick for hiding the maltesers. References Category:Characters